I Can’t Fix It!

fix it

I work in a highly technical field. Between our computers, ultrasound machines, and treadmills, technology is in full force all day. When any of these break, it throws a wrench in our entire schedule. It affects our current patient and subsequent patients. And….we can’t fix it! We are at the mercy of our repair guy, and most the time, he is at the mercy of the broken part. He has to figure out what part is the problem, order it, wait on it, and get it installed, before we are back to normal working conditions.

I feel so bad for the patients when this happens because they are coming in for a stress test to check their hearts which is usually more stressful emotionally than physically. They want to know if they have a problem. And here I am, apologizing that I can’t test them because something is broken and I don’t know when it will be fixed. Usually, they are understanding. I always appreciate that, but I’m still frustrated that I can’t fix it.

Today, my treadmill broke. My patient was so kind even though she really needed it done considering she has plans to go out of town tomorrow (of course). I was even more frustrated because I had called the repair guy the week before with the same issue, but it wasn’t resolved. She was so sweet and kept saying to me “bless your heart”. She knew I was irritated with the fact that it was still not working properly. I said to her “I’m so sorry. I can’t fix the problem, only report it.”

That statement made me think of prayer. Most of our problems we can’t fix. We may have contributed to them, been born into them, or been completely sideswiped by them. But, we can’t fix them….only report them. Once we report the problem, we’ll need strength while He locates the problem, humility while He corrects it (us), and patience while we wait.

One thing’s for sure, with God as our repair guy, we will come out stronger, wiser, and more loving. Because that’s what He does. He transforms us through the problems we report. Let’s not be afraid to report to the One who created us. He knows us best and loves us most.

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Pearls of Wisdom

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Is there anything more valuable than God’s wisdom in our life? We search for it like the treasure that it is. We crave it. We just want to know what He wants us to do in any given situation. Ultimately, His wisdom comes with a sense of assurance and confirmation. If the conflict in our heart does not cease, we are not there yet. The answer hasn’t arrived.

For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you. Proverbs 2:10-11

What our hearts really desire is contentment, fulfillment, and peace. Peace with God leads to peace with ourselves. His wisdom brings peace, even when it’s the hard thing to do. If our hearts just don’t feel right about something, the Holy Spirit is speaking to us. Heed that feeling. Take note and seek wisdom. Remember, that His peace is a gift and a fruit of the Spirit that He loves to give us. We should cherish this gift as His children. Life won’t always be easy. But, if we don’t have peace, God is trying to tell us something. Listen….

I was in a relationship where everything seemed right on paper, but my heart was troubled. I couldn’t figure out why this guy who I assumed must be “the one” because he seemed to have everything on my list, just didn’t lead to peace. I tried to adjust and make changes to help ease the discomfort, but I still had turmoil in my heart. I thought maybe it was me, maybe I just wasn’t used to being really loved and that’s what he was doing. So, I gave it more time. I remained honest with him about my struggles and lack of peace. He reinforced my possible reasons like maybe it was because I was a naturally anxious person, this was new, and I was scared because of my past. He said he was willing to be patient with me and wait until I felt safe enough to fall in love. It wasn’t happening. So, I continued to plead with God to either take the discomfort away or reveal why on earth I had it.

I woke up at 4:30 one morning with very clear answers on exactly why I needed to end it. With clarity and conviction, I wrote the reasons down so I could recite them clearly when I called to let him know. In the aftermath, I saw so many confirmations of what God had revealed. His wisdom and me ending the relationship led to peace. It was hard, but the peace was worth it. God had answered and I obeyed. When we actively pursue His will, He is faithful to reveal it. Peace follows…

Turns out love is more than a “list”. Breakups are never easy, but if there is a lack of peace and comfort, they are necessary and wise. Whether it’s a career move, a friendship issue, a difficult family member, or a romantic relationship question, God has wisdom to share. He is very much active and aware of our concerns. He wants to help. Let’s let Him. Sometimes, His answer is to stay quiet, sometimes it’s to speak up, sometimes it’s to wait. But, when He answers, the best thing we can do is respond quickly. The way the chips fall are on His shoulders, not ours. Thank God we can trust Him with the outcome. This gives us peace. The outcome is His baby and we are His. Rest in that fact.

When we pray first and then follow our instincts, we can trust that the Holy Spirit is active. God is in control and He will never let us down. Pearls of wisdom will help us personally and help us help others in the process. God longs to reveal wisdom to those who seek it. It may be a struggle, but the pearls are worth it. Peace is the prize for pearls.

 

Beauty in the Struggle…

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Have you struggled?  Have you wondered if a lack of peace means you’re headed in the wrong direction? Have you wondered if the struggle is because of disobedience or God prompting you to change directions? Does the confusion get the best of you? It has for me. Why is it that when we pray a mighty prayer, make our requests so big that only God could deliver them, wait, wonder if it’s even possible, then actually receive it, that we still struggle? Why is that? Because we are human beings with mere human hearts and minds that have a hard time comprehending what is meant for us, what is best for us.

Have you ever heard, “Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it!” As soon as it arrives, our hearts are frightened and we feel like we’re not ready. If we weren’t ready, why would God drop this in our lap? Something only He could know we wanted. Something straight out of the deepest desires of our heart. Yet, we don’t feel ready. We don’t jump in with joy and excitement and praise His name, like a child would. Nope, we worry. We wonder if it’s right. We wonder if it’s real. We wonder if it’s finally here. And we wonder what to do with it. We pray for discernment, for peace, for direction…for truth.

Have you considered that the struggle may be because you ARE heading in the right direction? We tend to think that once our miracle arrives, it will be smooth sailing, but God has another thing in mind. How else would He keep us dependent?  How else would He keep us humble? By reminding us we can’t do it alone. By reminding us that getting our prayers answered doesn’t mean everything will be easy, but it will be different. With new territory, there will be new issues to deal with and problems to face. This allows us to praise Him while remaining completely dependent. When we feel incompetent to handle our blessing, He is STILL ever present.

Whether it’s a new relationship or an ended one, an unexpected baby or a long-awaited one. Whether it’s your dream job or an opportunity that you’ve waited and prayed so long for, there will be issues. New ones. I’m so thankful that God loves me enough to struggle with me. When my soul desire is to do His will, it means I love Him enough to struggle too. I’d rather struggle with God than silence or deny Him in my heart.

One thing’s for sure, just like Jacob struggled with God, we won’t come out the same. We’ll come out closer, changed, and with a limp that keeps us dependent and reminded of God’s sovereignty in our lives . The people who have stayed by our sides in our struggles will always hold a close place in our hearts. Likewise, when we struggle with God, we come out closer and ever more certain of His love for us. There is beauty in the struggle.